Saturday, August 2, 2014

Chapter #14

Woah .. It's been three years since I sat down to write. And this time it isn't me murdering a poem. Objective was to have fun & fun was what was had – for lunch and dinner. Even had the midnight snack before calling it a day!

Feel a little content, a little wiser. You can never have too much fun, but things tend to slow down after 1000 days. My hair is a little less spikey, pants a little higher, shoes a little less shinier & still no sign of a beard. These three years have taught a lot – what not to speak, what not to do, who not to call and most importantly how much to not drink (still a little vague, but who is perfect).

On the not so sunny side of 20's, experiencing a sort of quarter life limbo. Played the game by the book, did the right thing at the right time – studies, work – still in pursuit of the missing piece. Ever since I gained sense of who I am and what I want to do, I have been in the pursuit of this missing piece. What is it? Is it a state of being – a state of mind or a state of heart? Or who is it? All I know is what I'm in pursuit of today is an implicit assumption tomorrow.

But things have sped up in the recent past. There has been a sinsudial flow of emotions. I have had a heart break, crossed a line and avoided confronting myself on revisiting the past. Distance seems to have been the best answer to all these problems – it clubbed with time is the practical remedy for all issues.


Distance was achieved – but the state of zen is nowhere in sight. Unable to decode if the sense of zen is lost or missed somewhere in the past. Hope to get more wiser with the passing clock, pants a little higher, hair a little less spikey and me clearer of what I want!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Chapter #13

lucky or unlucky ... its chapter no. thirteen
hoping to turn on the magical sheen
bumpy as it is .. its been 6 years,
thr aint a unit for counting my tears
den y do i alwz gt back to dis ??
solace or peace or someone's big fat kiss ..

18 June .. nothing began
its jst me nd me wid my fav can ..
y da fck .. do i expect smthn to begin ??
cuz in d end .. m nt da one, whoz gonna win !!
its alwz da same old story ..
.. about some nt soo slim gori

m bored of dis rountine shit ..
.. each sight givn me a routine fit
my condition is shady-ness personified ...
.. cant evn rhyme nythn dat dignified
i need to go out in d open nd wander ..
.. wait for da new daisies to ponder

last tym i chkd, i was still young ...
... my price in da mkt is well hung

've things to look forward to in dis town
.. da city of dreams 'll nt let me down
i need to go out nd jst 've fun ..
all my worries shd go dwn wid da sun
if fun is vat i want .. fun is vat i 'll gt
wnt give two fucks .. or drop a sweat
things 'll fall into their place ..
.. dats my cue to swim into space

bt thr 'll alwz be dis lil space left free ...
.. u nd only u can fill it wid glee
can't do nythn for dat to go away ..
... 've nt given u reason 'nuff to stay
isnt dis hw it was supposd to b ??
feel lyk a stranded ship in d big blue sea

evryday life is gonna b da same - a pain
.. its upto u to not make it lame !!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Chapter #12

its been soo long i sat dwn to write ...
... all my tym has been taken up to fight
i never wishd for dis day to come ...
... feel lyk a dried up pome
it jst seems sooo incomplete ...
.. m left alone to walk in da street

why cant i make up my mind ..
... pick up smthn nd do the grind
alwz vacillating ...
thinkn dis - dat nd fascinating
m gonna tak a stand nd stick to it ...
.. until death gives me a blowing hit

'i' m my first priority ...
.. thrz no1 wid a higher seniority
i dnt give a fuck anymore ...
.. u can go sulk at da nearby store
all i want is jst some peace ...
vat i get is my face filled wid grease

i want it all back ... the fun, frolic nd fervor
sip on a cold beer nd jst nt bother ...
my soul is achin for some solace ...
.. i still cant do widout lukn at ur face
i need more strength, to get through dis phase ...
wanna set out on another wild goose chase
the goose can have her own gander ...
... m nt gonna sit around nd ponder

m jst a young guy .. who wants to 've some fun
party-party .. till i am done
i dnt want no complicated shit ..
in da middle of da nyt ... givn me a random fit
i believe in - 'live nd let live'
thrz nthn more i 've to give ...

wid dis thought .. m gonna move on
pluckn out each nd every thorn ...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Chapter #11

Oh...fuck, disz chapter no. eleven
m still lyin in a shady ol' tavern ..
its been a long journey through ..
.. umpteen tyms, i 've been left 2 screw

i really dunno hw 2 write .. or vat 2 write
i do dis ... jst out of spite
U r da maker ... of ur destiny
no1 can help it ... ven u 've cynical creativity

m known 4 diggn my own pitt ..
lyin in da pool of my shit
y da fuck .. do i gt these fits ??
cant i b normal .. nd 've cheese dips

hw mch mre do ppl ... want me 2 grow
nythn mre wud mak me blow ...
m jst da way .. i am
nt a BABY ... in a freakn pram

i still dnt ponder ..
dat y m i on a wild goose chase ??
evn ven i kno da goose has her gander ...
'makin out' ... a new god damn phrase.
y da hell .. cant i learn 4m da past ??
nd nt do da same things ... leading 2 a steel cast
i need a god damn change ..
shd go out .. nd figure out a new range

evrydy lyf here is da same ...
mornin 2 evenin .. jst LAME

Monday, July 13, 2009

Chapter #10

its been a while .. since i hd tym 2 write
hope dis doesnt change my style ..
18 june ... it again began
thr wznt ny1 2 dazzle by her beautie
only auntis around ... lukn rottie
m in a new place .. a new lyf
far away 4m home ... into a new ryf

i wz happy in between
.. b4 dis strtd 2 intervene
m stuck in dis hole 4 2 yrs ...
.. carryn a towel, 2 wipe my tears

aahhh ...

y da fuk, m i a cribbing prick ?
i shd tak control ... nd stop actn sick
've dragged dis too far ...
.. it aint dat bad, aftr da second par
m in da city .. da city of dreams
da adrenaline rush .. givn u thrills

m all grown up nw ...
.. nt gonna fall 4 ny arbit cow
it aint bout ny1 else nymre ...
.. da feeln has dried 2 da core

i gotta think .. mre bout me
live lyf .. nd feel free
disz my chapter #10 ...
beginin of a journey 2 da end !!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Chapter #9

sooo close ... bt yet so far
i really wish ... i hd a car
i m nt alwyz dis ...
... y do some guyz sit nd piss ??

y do ppl get .. offended ?
ven .. thy r nt da 1 bein contended
i aint no shaddy cynic ...
... cribbn bout lyf nd its gimmic
i too tend 2 smile ...
... nd nt sulk ovr my poignant pile

i write .. ven i m sad
dis tym, tryn my hand ... on bein glad
i'm happy .. i'm filld wid joy
.. m no longer da 4 yr old boy
've stepped out of my cribb ..
.. nt shwn ny sign of jibb

disz da new me ... disz da new guy
tryn 2 match my new shirt wid da old tie ..
i m da big darn dark knight
flyin da kite .. in dis stormy night

goshh .. its soo hard 2 rhyme smthn wid happy
all my skeptic senses, cum up wid is ... crappy
cant go longer den dis ...
my gloomy aura .. is all i miss
lemme dish dis out ..
.. widout 'vin 2 choke one out

lyf aint no bitch ... no galz a witch
.. whoz da damn snitch ??
dat i shd freakn ditch ...

Monday, October 27, 2008

Chapter #8

26 Oct ... here i am
still, tryn 2 figure out .. who i am ??
its been months ... since i wrote
still clueless .. as vat 2 quote

lifez unfair .. life's a bitch
y cant it b a liberatin hitch
i'm sick nd tired of whinin ..
jst wonder .. ven 'll b my shinin

m down .. m hurt ... m out
tried evrythn .. 2 fight dis stout
i console myself ... 4 a shifting respite
only later .. to sulk in my plight

i dunno ... vat 2 do .. nd vat nt 2 do ...
to let go or hold on ..
or catch a new shit, nd move on
m perplexed wid agony ...
.. my heart playin a mute symphony

aaahhhh ..... dis feels iiuucckkkk ...
i mean .. vat da fuck ??
m filled wid persecutin rile ...
.. 've no reason 2 smile

den thrz me in my solitude ...
... tryn 2 find da right attitude
ven i sit back nd muse over my remorse
... my heart tells me one thing - hope
dat one day .. . some day .. maybe
my donna feels da way i do ...
disz vat keeps me going
nd makes me stand on my feet ..
... and face da heat

da nxt day ... m filled wid zeal
disz da only way my wounds can heal
her smile brings me 2 my immortal bliss ..
.... dis lasts 4ever .. is all i wish
but u dnt alwz gt ... vat u wish
i gt ... vat i didnt deserve
dis aint part of my reserve ...


u still gotta deal wid dis itch ..
cuz dis is vat lyf is .. a bitch